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"It is written that the first born son of a Ghetto King shall inherit The Source. And he shall walk among us, robed as a servant, with a satchel at his side. And when the time is come, the fire of the word shall ignite and dispel the darkness."


When Mellow Dee, a disgruntled postal worker, gets a message from an escaped convict, he must seek out the old Laserball player and Ghetto Knight, Elijah. In a world where the church has merged with the state, mellow dee is young and strong willed, but oblivious. Elijah reveals to Mellow Dee that King Ray-Ray, the imprisoned leader of the Ghetto Knights, is the father Mellow Dee never had. Elijah teaches Mellow Dee how "to go to The Source" and the ways of the Ghetto Knights. Together, Mellow Dee and Elijah have three days to steal a satellite crystal that will prove King Ray-Ray’s innocence, take down the dark Overlord, and prevent World War IV.

 

Ghetto Knights: An Urban Star Wars Spoof

By Christopher C. Odom

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Ghetto Knights
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FADE IN:

EXT. NEW LOS ANGELES - DAY

The old Los Angeles rests on the ground amidst decaying streets and buildings, but still heavily populated.  Soft sweet inspirational MUSIC plays.

VOICEOVER

It is written, that the first born son of a Ghetto Knight shall inherit the Source.  He shall walk among us, robed as a servant, with a satchel at his side.

Mellow Dee, draped in a Special Forces Postal Uniform, flees from a pit-bull.  A postal satchel hangs from his side.  He is young with an attractive build and strong will, but two shakes short of the real world.

VOICEOVER

When the time is come, the fire of the Word shall ignite, and dispel the darkness.

MELLOW DEE

Snap!

Mellow Dee maces the dog while leaping into a rocket chute.  A city floats in the sky two miles above the ground.  Rocket chutes extend from the city down to the ground.  A huge dome encapsulates a portion of the city.

SUPERIMPOSE

"2050.  NEW LOS ANGELES.  HOVER DISTRICT, WORD SECTOR."

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. SKY – NIGHT

A large Hovership flies through the city.

EXT. DESERT - NIGHT

East of the city, a prison hovers two miles above the desert.  A sign on the prison reads:  "WESTERN ALLIANCE PENITENTIARY."

MARIA LOPEZ, a young reporter, stands in front of its ominous gate.

MARIA

Earlier today, King Ray-Ray, leader of the Ghetto Knights, and front runner in the First Saint electoral race, was charged and found guilty of elections fraud.  The incumbent Overlord, General Pet Von File, presented a data crystal to the Word Council revealing that King Ray-Ray fraudulently created First Saint votes for himself.

HENRY LAU, the Western Alliance News Network anchorman, reports from the news studio.

HENRY LAU

Thank you Maria.  Last night The Notorious Crackajack hacker struck again when...

PULL BACK TO REVEAL:

INT. HOVERSHIP - NIGHT

Henry Lau is actually a HOLO-TRANSMISSION on board the Hovership.  He disappears.

GENERAL PET VON FILE, the dictatorial First Saint Overlord, sits at a round table with the WORD COUNCIL.  Pet Von File wears a metal plate over part of his face.  He's older with graying hair.  The Word Council Prophets are adorned in ethnic garb and wear red dignitary sashes.

EXTRA SPECIAL SUPER SECRET AGENT THAGGERT is among the council members.  He is younger than Pet Von File.  He talks just like "Little Richard".  THAGGERT sits on Pet Von File's left.  Thaggert's short comical assistant, MR. CHIM, sits on Thaggert's left.

PRIME MINISTER OF WORD ENFORCEMENT MR. BUTCH, sits on Pet Von File's right hand side.  Mr. Butch is a well-built, well-disciplined soldier.  He acts just like "MR. T".

PET VON FILE

Finally, I'll be rid of King Ray-Ray and those Ghetto Knights.  I shall rule the world.  Nothing can stop me now!

The council members murmur in agreement with Pet Von File.  An old haggard SOOTHSAYER with a long staff and a hooded robe searches for words.

SOOTHSAYER

Well, ah, there's the, um, The Prophecy.

Pet Von File stares at the Soothsayer.  Soft sweet inspirational theme MUSIC plays.  A SPOTLIGHT illuminates the Soothsayer.

SOOTHSAYER

It is written that the first born son of a Ghetto Knight, shall inherit the Source. 

He shall walk among us, robed as a servant, with a satchel at his side.  When the time is come, the fire of the Word shall ignite, and dispel the darkness.

Pet Von File stares at the Soothsayer for a beat.  Pet Von File presses a button under the table, which ejects the Soothsayer from the Hovership.

PET VON FILE

Again, I say, nothing can stop me from ruling the world!

The Council Members murmur more fervently in agreement.

COUNCIL MEMBER

Who let him in here anyway?

PET VON FILE

Floak The Prophecy.

INT. PRISON CELL - NIGHT

KING RAY-RAY sits at a makeshift cinder block table writing a letter.  JAMAL stands practicing laserball/martial arts stances.

King Ray-Ray, a born leader, is an older burley authoritative figure with the weight of the world on his shoulders.  Jamal, a tad younger, is clearly the follower, but is still worthy of respect.

A force field covers the entrance of the cell as well as a window.  A guard comes to the cell.

GUARD

Jamal, I have a message for King Ray-Ray.

He shoves an envelope through the cell force field.  Jamal picks up the envelope.  He hands it to King Ray-Ray.  There's silence.  King Ray-Ray puts on reading glasses.

KING RAY-RAY

The time is near.  Our sources say the Overlord knows about The Prophecy.  It's only a matter of time before they discover my hidden son.

JAMAL

Mellow Dee is not ready.  You have to break out of here.

King Ray-Ray puts one hand on Jamal's shoulder.

KING RAY-RAY

I can't, because then I'd look guilty.  You've got to warn Mellow Dee that he's in danger.  The fate of the Alliance and the World depends on it.

Jamal nods.  King Ray-Ray walks over to the force field covering the door.  Jamal walks over to the cell wall.  Jamal removes blocks from the wall.  Encased in the wall is a large backpack.

JAMAL

Everything is here.

KING RAY-RAY

Remember to bring Mellow Dee to Elijah.  He's the only one that can prepare my son.

JAMAL

I won't fail you.

Jamal puts on a change of clothing from the backpack.  King Ray-Ray gets some wire out of the backpack.  Jamal straps on the backpack.

King Ray-Ray drops one end of the wire in the toilet bowl.  King Ray-Ray ties a piece of metal to the other end of the wire.  Jamal positions himself in front of the window.

KING RAY-RAY

Always remember that you've got to go to the Source.

JAMAL

The Source.

King Ray-Ray tosses the weight into the force field.  An EXPLOSION douses the light and power for a beat.  Jamal leaps out of the window.

EXT. PRISON - SKY - NIGHT

Jamal sky dives beneath the prison.  The lights return.  Jamal pulls a cord on the backpack.  Hang glider wings emerge.

INT. PRISON - NIGHT

WORD ENFORCERS enter King Ray-Ray's cell.  A Word Enforcer speaks into his communicator.

WORD ENFORCER

Sound the alarm.  It's a jailbreak.

EXT. PRISON - SKY - NIGHT

SPOTLIGHTS search the sky for Jamal.  Jamal glides towards the edge of the city.

INT. WARDEN'S OFFICE - NIGHT

WARDEN REAPER leans back in his chair with a helmet on as he plays a virtual reality game.  The LIGHTS BLINK.

WARDEN

Dang, I hadn't saved my game, yet.

The ALARM SOUNDS.  The Warden's holophone rings.

GUARD

Warden Reaper, the Ghetto Knight Jamal Shabazz has escaped.

WARDEN

We're too low to use radar.  Get me the Overlord on the wire.  We need a DNA lock and a satellite scan quickly. 

If he gets around other people it will be impossible to pinpoint his genetic code.

EXT. HOVER DISTRICT - NIGHT

Mellow Dee exits a rocket chute.  He walks up to the Post Office.  The LIGHTS BLINK.  Mellow Dee checks the time on his watch.

MELLOW DEE

I'm late.  I hate this job.

Mellow Dee tosses his mailbag on the ground.

He stamps on it with both feet.

MELLOW DEE

I hate it.  I hate it. I hate it.

A loud speaker on a light pole sounds an announcement.

SPEAKER

Warning.  Disgruntled Postal Worker in Sector Six.  Request immediate back up.

Bystanders run with terror.

INT. PET VON FILE'S HOVERSHIP - NIGHT

Pet Von File dialogs with the Word Council.  The lights of the city BLINK.

PET VON FILE

What is going on down there?

The holoprompter RINGS.

WARDEN

My Lord, the Ghetto Knight Jamal Shabazz has escaped.  We need authorization for a DNA lock and satellite scan.

PET VON FILE

(fumbles over title)

Extra Special Super Secret...

THAGGERT

Humph, Secret Agent Thaggert.

PET VON FILE

Whatever.  Thaggert, handle this.  I want him captured alive for questioning.

EXT. BOTTOM CITY - STREET - NIGHT

Jamal glides into an alley.  He quickly disengages the wings and presses for the street.  A hoverbus lands at a hoverbus stop.  A crowd of people pours out of the bus.  Mellow Dee is among them.

Word Enforcer hovercrafts circle with SPOTLIGHTS.  Mellow Dee and Jamal look up in the sky as they pass each other in the crowd of people.  Mellow Dee and Jamal do not see one another.  Jamal gets on the hoverbus.  Mellow Dee disappears into the crowd.

INT. WESTERN ALLIANCE COMMAND CENTRAL - NIGHT

The room is filled with high tech equipment maps and scanners.  BOOMER, a Word Enforcer aviation controller, communicates with Thaggert on a holoprompter.

BOOMER

(fumbles over title)

We have him Extra Special Super Secret Agent Thaggert, sir.

THAGGERT

Humph, Thaggert.  My name is Extra Special Super Secret Agent Thaggert.  Thaggert.

BOOMER

We just lost him.

THAGGERT

Shutup.  Is there a compressed unit of living tissues near your last lock?

BOOMER

Yes.

THAGGERT

He's on a hoverbus.  Find out which hoverbus is in that quadrant and get a tail on it quick.

EXT. TENEMENT BUILDING - NIGHT

Mellow Dee stands at the front door of an tenement building.  He still wears his Special Forces Postal Uniform and postal satchel.  KANEISHA exits the building.

Kaneisha is a young around the way girl.

MELLOW DEE

Sorry I'm late.  That stupid job held me up again.  Too many packages.  I didn't have time to change.

Kaneisha looks Mellow Dee up and down with her eyes.

KANEISHA

Come on.  Sometimes I don't know about you.

EXT. HOVER DISTRICT WORD SECTOR - NIGHT

The Word Sector is an expansive palace-like fortress encapsulated under an ominous dome.  The innermost court houses Western Alliance Command Central and all the affiliated Word offices.

Throughout the sector exists a Laserball Arena, a Hotel, an Auditorium, Government Offices, a Convention Hall, and several other venues.  The lights and glitz of numerous activities occurring throughout the sector bedazzle the sector.

Pet Von File's Hovership lands behind the Worship Center Auditorium.

EXT. MELLOW DEE'S TENEMENT PYRAMID - NIGHT

A hoverbus lands in the landing bay of an enormous futuristic shiny pyramid.  Jamal climbs out of the hoverbus.  Jamal attempts to gain entry into the tenement pyramid.  A Word Enforcer Hovercraft's SIREN rings out.  Jamal puts on a laserball glove.  He illuminates his laserball.

Word Enforcers ICEMAN (male) and MAI TAE (female) land their Hovercraft in the pyramid landing-bay.  Iceman is a proud homosexual.  Mai Tae is an extremely butch lesbian.  She looks a lot like the wrestler "China".  They leap out of the Hovercraft and take cover.  Iceman shoots Jamal in the arm.

Jamal stumbles.  Jamal hurls his laserball at Iceman and Mai Tae.  The laserball returns to Jamal's glove.

EXT. WORSHIP CENTER AUDITORIUM - NIGHT

The marquee reads:  "THE WORD PLAYERS PRESENT DIXIE."

INT. WORSHIP CENTER AUDITORIUM - NIGHT

Mellow Dee and his date, KANEISHA, watch the new musical "Dixie."  An all Black cast dressed like slaves picks cotton on stage.  A lone male soloist sings "Dixie" in exaggerated operatic fashion.

MELLOW DEE

I just love stuff about the good old days.

KANEISHA

WHAT?  If you really want to learn about the Good old days brother, you need to go to the Source.

INT. MELLOW DEE'S TENEMENT PYRAMID - NIGHT

Jamal hurls his laserball at Iceman and Mai Tae.  Iceman and Mai Tae back away from the doorway and seek cover.  Jamal dials Mellow Dee's tenement number.  The holophone answers.  Mellow Dee appears on the screen.

JAMAL

Mellow Dee, you're in great danger.

MELLOW DEE

I'm sorry.  I'm not home right now.  Please leave a message or crystal page me at 123-800-FO-ISAAC.

The answering video BEEPS.

JAMAL

Mellow Dee, you're in great danger.  Your father...

Jamal is hit in the shoulder by a blast.

OPERATOR

The system crystal is full.  Goodbye.

Jamal eyeballs a videophone near the gate.  Jamal attempts to reach the phone.  He is hit by a laser blast in the leg.  Jamal dials Mellow Dee's crystal pager number.

OPERATOR

Please insert five dollars.

Jamal smashes a hole in the videophone with his laserball.  Silver dollars pour out.  Jamal slips five coins into the videophone.

PAGER VOICE

You have reached the crystal pager of...

MELLOW DEE'S VOICE

Mellow Dee

Jamal is hit again.  Jamal hurls the laserball at Mai Tae.  Mai Tae drops her pistol.

OPERATOR

System is down.  If your message is all that and more, you can reach him on his crystal communicator at 45-506-345-8765-963457.

JAMAL tries to remember the number.

INT. WORSHIP CENTER AUDITORIUM - NIGHT

General Pet Von File sits high and lifted up in an opera booth at the rear of the theater.  Several adolescent boys sit in the booth with Pet Von File.

Members of the Word Council occupy the other booths.  Among the Prophets, is PROPHET BIG DADDY LOVE.  He wears shades, gangster formal wear, a dignitary sash, and sports a FLAT TOP exactly like the one "Larry Blackmon" from cameo used to have.  Prophet Love is surrounded by scantily clad sleazy women.

The "Dixie" cast dances on the stage.  A confederate flag raises, while a hologram of General Robert E. Lee in full military dress illuminates backstage.

Women dressed like Aunt Jemimas pass out cotton to people in the crowd.

MELLOW DEE

This is what we've been waiting for.  This is where the audience can join in.

An Aunt Jemima hands Mellow Dee some cotton.

MELLOW DEE

Are you coming?

KANEISHA

If you had to ask?

Mellow Dee's crystal communicator RINGS.

MELLOW DEE

Ahhh, who would be calling me during the grand finale?

KANEISHA

Don't answer it.  We need to talk.

The chorus begins to sing.  The communicator still RINGS.  Mellow Dee answers the communicator and clicks it right back off.

EXT. MELLOW DEE'S TENEMENT PYRAMID - NIGHT

Jamal holds the phone.

JAMAL

Mellow Dee, it's your father, he's...

Jamal is disconnected.  Jamal is shot in the arm.  He drops his laserball glove.  Iceman and Mai Tae apprehend Jamal.

INT. WORSHIP CENTER AUDITORIUM - NIGHT

APPLAUSE decays for the "Dixie" cast.  PROPHET DEMONAY rises from his booth.  Prophet Demonay is older, distinguished looking, and pompous.  A wireless microphone is pinned to his collar.

DEMONAY

First giving all the honor and the glory to the Word, for those of you that don't know me, I am Prophet Demonay, acting head of the Word Council. 

Unfortunately Prophet Sibyl suffered a nervous breakdown.  And now, without further adieu, the Overlord.

The audience renders a standing OVATION.  The lights dim.  A SPOTLIGHT beams on Pet Von File.   A wireless microphone is pinned to his collar.

THAGGERT

Oh, how I loathe these long, hideous, boring, harangues.

PET VON FILE

In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with Ghetto, and the Word was Ghetto.  Can I get a witness?

AUDIENCE

Word.

THAGGERT

I despise the Word.

EXT. HOVER DISTRICT - NIGHT

A hoverbus flies towards the pyramid.  The hoverbus lands in a landing bay.

INT. MELLOW DEE'S TENEMENT - NIGHT

Mellow Dee stands in front of his door fumbling through his pockets.  A small hologram of DIONE, his personal security system, illuminates at the door's control pad.

DIONE

Good evening, saint.  This is Dione, your personal security system.  Please identify yourself.

MELLOW DEE

This is Mellow Dee, Dione.  I'd like access to tenement 227.

DIONE

Certainly, Mellow Dee.  Please insert your key crystal for your personal safety.

Mellow Dee inserts his key crystal.

DIONE

Thank you very much Mellow Dee, Dione confirms your access.

INT. MELLOW DEE'S TENEMENT - NIGHT

Mellow Dee enters his tenement.  The lights activate as he passes them.  He sits at a console before a screen the size of a wall.

MELLOW DEE

Computer, play messages, please.

Jamal ILLUMINATES in front of the holoprompter screen.

JAMAL

Mellow Dee, you're in great danger.  You're father...

Jamal is shot.  His image DISAPPEARS.

Mellow Dee hears DOOR KNOCKS.  Mellow Dee opens the door.  He is startled to see Word Enforcers Iceman and Mai Tae.

MAI TAE

Mellow Dee Washington, sir.

MELLOW DEE

What?

Iceman notices that Mellow Dee is wearing a Special Forces Postal Uniform.

ICEMAN

He's a Postal Worker?  You aren't going to nut up on us.  I know how you all get to shooting and schtuff.

Mellow Dee twitches at the mention of the post office.

MELLOW DEE

I'd prefer not to talk about that place.

MAI TAE

Sir, we will escort you to the Word Enforcement Center.

MELLOW DEE

Am I under arrest?  What's the charge?

MAI TAE

All will be explained once you get to the Word Enforcement Center.

MELLOW DEE

Where's your warrant? I know my rights.

ICEMAN

Naw Mai Tae, let me handle this.  This is one of those deranged postal workers and they'll go off on your behind, and they don't pay me enough for this bull schlock.  You want rights?

(takes out cattle prod)

OK.  You have the right to scream or be silent when I kick your behind. You also have the right for an attorney to be present at your inquest and will reading. 

Are you going to cooperate, or am I going to have to do a Rodney King, III on your behind?

Mai Tae holds her head down as she shows Mellow Dee a dog collar and chain.

INT. WORD ENFORCEMENT CENTER - NIGHT

Mellow Dee sweats in a smoked filled interrogation room before a blazing light.  Chim-Chim uses a fire extinguisher to douse a smoldering microwave.  Thaggert looks disgusted.

Chim-Chim removes a half-burnt box of donuts from the microwave.  He picks burnt crust off of a donut and stuffs it in his mouth.

MR. CHIM

(stutters)

The donuts are ready.

Mr. Chim hands Thaggert a donut.

THAGGERT

That will be all Chim-Chim.

MR. CHIM

(stutters)

My name is Mr. Chim --

THAGGERT

(interrupts)

Chim-Chim.  Thank you kindly, sir.

Mr. Chim leaves with the box of donuts.  His voice can be heard in the hallway.

MR. CHIM (O.S.)

The donuts are ready.

THAGGERT

Now again, you were at Dixie...

MELLOW DEE

We've been at this crap for hours.  Can't I just go?

THAGGERT

Perhaps you don't understand the depravity of this situation.  A very dangerous convict escapes from prison. 

So, "who you gonna call?"  Mellow Dee?  It makes you say hmm.  Why?

MELLOW DEE

Look, Extra Crispy...

THAGGERT

(interrupts)

Extra Special...

MELLOW DEE

I told you I don't know why?  Like I said...

THAGGERT

Shutup.  Don't floak with me, postal boy.  I know you're holding something back.  You're lucky the power surge tonight screwed up our system. 

But, I will find out what Jamal really said.  And when we do, I'll be looking for you.

MELLOW DEE

Whatever.  Can I go?

THAGGERT

Be gone.

As Mellow Dee leaves, Mr. Chim returns.

MR. CHIM

Why are you letting him go?  You know that he must be The Prophesied One.  He'll destroy the Overlord.

THAGGERT

Precisely.  And who do you think will be the next Overlord?  Me!

Thaggert laughs maniacally.  Mr. Chim joins Thaggert's laughter.

MR. CHIM

(stutters)

Yeah, you.  Thaggert.

Thaggert stops laughing.

THAGGERT

Shut up.

INT. WORD ENFORCEMENT CENTER- HALLWAY - NIGHT

Mr. Butch eavesdrops upon Thaggert and Mr. Chim outside the Interrogation room door.  Mr. Butch tip toes away.

INT. MELLOW DEE'S TENEMENT - DAY

Mellow Dee watches Jamal's message over and over again.  Mellow Dee stops the message from repeating.  He places a holo-call to his grandmother BIG MAMMA.  Big Mamma is large and down home with a tattoo visible on her bosom.

Big Mamma ILLUMINATES in front of the holoprompter screen.

BIG MAMMA

Is that you, Mellow Dee?  You look like you haven't slept all night.  Hold on Hun, let me click over.  I have a call on the other line.

Big Mamma disappears for a few beats then reappears.

BIG MAMMA

All right, Hun.  How have you been?

MELLOW DEE

Fine, Big Mamma.  Listen, last night I got a really strange message.  A man said I was in great danger and he mentioned my father.

BIG MAMMA

Your daddy's dead, son.

MELLOW DEE

I know, but the man sounded pretty serious.

BIG MAMMA

What else did he say?

MELLOW DEE

Nothing, they shot him.

BIG MAMMA

Who shot him?

MELLOW DEE

Word Enforcers.  And then the same two Enforcers brought me down to the Word Enforcement Center for...

BIG MAMMA

The time is near, but you're not ready.

MELLOW DEE

What are you talking about?

BIG MAMMA

Remember that place I used to sing about in that nursery rhyme?

MELLOW DEE

(squeamish)

Yeah, you mean in the bottom?

BIG MAMMA

Hush.  Go there and seek out the old Ghetto Knight and laserball player Elijah.  Boy, you've got to go to the Source.

MELLOW DEE

Huh.

BIG MAMMA

Go now!  And bring a beanpie with you.

Pages 1 - 17

Search Inside
Ghetto Knights
On Amazon.comhttp://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/1434897095/ref=sib_dp_pt#reader-link
Buy Ghetto Knights
Now as an eBookhttps://www.click2sell.eu/buy?odombooksghe

Christopher C. Odom is an Award-Winning Writer, Director, Producer and Author who earned his Master of Fine Arts in Screenwriting from the University of California, Los Angeles. An Associate Member of the Writers Guild of America, west Independent Writer’s Caucus, Christopher has won numerous screenwriting and filmmaking awards. His work has been nationally televised and screened in cities worldwide, including Tel Aviv, Berlin and Cannes.

About The Author